Spain, You Jerk!
by The Emcee
Summary: Ever since he was small, Romano has always considered Spain a jerk, mostly because he was but then again, Romano was a spoiled little brat who always had to have his way. But when it came down to it, Spain was his jerk. This is an iPod shuffle, ten songs drabble thing. Slash. Spain/Romano


Title: Spain, You Jerk! Or the Romance of Spain and Romano

Author: The Emcee

Pairing: Spain/Romano

Summary: Ever since he was small, Romano has always considered Spain a jerk, mostly because he was but then again, Romano was a spoiled little brat who always had to have his way. But when it came down to it, Spain was his jerk. This is an iPod shuffle, ten songs drabble thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything like that.

A/N: So, I got seasons one through four of _Hetalia_ for Christmas and I devoured them all in, like, a day. I love, love, LOVE this anime. It's been a while since I've become this enraptured by an anime. That's why I decided to write this. Let me know what you think, okay? I hope you all like this. R&R. Enjoy!

**~…~**

_**Spain, You Jerk!**_

_**~…~**_

_**One: Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!) by Blu Cantrell**_

To say that Romano was furious was to say that the _Titanic _had a minor accident. If people could be killed by bad vibes, everyone in the immediate area would be dead two times over. But Romano didn't give a fuck about those stupid jerks. The only jerk he was focused on was _that _jerk, _his _jerk. Spain.

That stupid, selfish bastard had had the nerve to cheat on Romano! Nobody cheated on Romano! Nobody did anything to Romano without Romano allowing it first! Just who did that pathetic, loathsome, wasteful piece of skin think he was? Just because he was older than Romano and thought he knew everything about the ladies and all of that romantic crap didn't give him the right to go and do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted!

The fact that Spain and he weren't officially dating yet didn't matter. Considering how much he…preferred Spain's company to other countries should have been enough, no? Well, if it wasn't, then he would just make it so! After he went off and made Spain's life a living hell, that is.

_**Two: You Gotta Be by Des'ree**_

__Romano wanted everyone to think he was tough, that he didn't need anyone or anything to help him out. It was Romano's way or the high way and nothing else. But Spain knew the truth; after all, he had watched and raised – sort of – Romano from the time he was just a small country. He knew that all of that big talk and tough persona was just for show.

When it came down to it, Romano was just as helpless and weak as his younger brother, Italy. Spain had seen proof of that time and time again. Even now, all grown up, Romano and his mouth still got into a shit ton of trouble and often called Spain to bail his ass out. More often than not, Spain's boss would forbid him to help Romano out on the grounds that he need. He supposed, when it came down to it, Romano didn't need to be strong, not when he had Spain around.

_**Three: As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins**_

__Romano wasn't into all of the lovey-dovey, romantic crap like Spaniards were. He didn't like it whenever Spain would hug him and cling to him and kiss him, especially in front of other countries. It was embarrassing! And he knew that Spain did it mostly to piss him off and it worked! Why the hell did it always fucking work?!

Anyway, it was rare for Romano to reach out to Spain or a hug or anything like that. But there were times when it happened. Like right now, as he sat on the oh, so familiar couch at Spain's house, Romano was clinging tightly to the Spaniard, crying like a little pussy and trembling like a hairless, newborn kitten, unable to control himself.

"-and then I realized that it was _I_ who was wearing the disgusting black mustache, not Germany! I looked so hideous! I wanted to gouge my eyes out!" Romano cried, his tears staining Spain's shirt. "And what's worse, that bastard France showed up!"

"There, there," Spain soothed him with the same smile he always wore as he rubbed Romano's back. "You're safe now, Romano."

That didn't stop Romano's tears, but it did make him feel better. Spain and his hugs always made Romano feel better in the end, even if he didn't want to admit it to himself.

_**Four: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane**_

Spain knew he was taking a huge risk. Usually, he wouldn't really care about that, but this was something that would affect both him and Romano for the rest of their lives. Having been a part of Romano's life since he was a small country, Spain considered them very close. Surely, Romano didn't have many friends – there were times when Spain didn't even consider himself Romano's friend, but that was only on really bad days – so he couldn't really afford losing Spain. But Romano could be unpredictable and a dick and if he wasn't happy, then no one was happy.

But this was something Spain needed to get off of his chest. It was threatening to burst forth on a sudden whim already, so he figured it was best to get it over with. He would've planned something more romantic, but being poor put a damper on the romantic atmosphere.

"Hey, Romano," Spain began.

"Yeah, what do you want?" Romano said in his usually annoyed tone of voice, not even bothering to look up from his magazine.

"I just wanted to let you know that I love you," Spain told him. Romano snorted.

"I already knew that, you jerk," he replied.

"And I used your razor to shave my pubic hairs," Spain finished. Romano threw the magazine across the room and jumped onto the Spaniard, his face flush with anger and his eyes seething.

"You bastard!"

Well, at least Spain had gotten that off of his chest.

_**Five: Without You by Hinder**_

__Romano heaved a heavy sigh as he sat down on his bed. He was exhausted from everything that had occurred during the week, but mostly he was exhausted by the almost constant fighting going on between himself and Spain. Falling back onto his bed, he glared up at the ceiling as he lost himself in his thoughts.

He knew that he was the cause of all of the fighting. Romano wasn't an easy person to get along with, and Spain had left Romano live with him for years, and he hated depending on others because he still thought that they only wanted him for his inheritance, just like he did when he was younger. Granted, Spain had showed and proven to him year after year that he genuinely cared about him on some level.

And he knew that he had been acting strange. Romano didn't know how to describe it, but he felt different. He had been meaner to Spain than usual. Spain had, for the most part, taken it in stride without so much as batting an eyelash. There was only so much he could take, however, and the line had already been drawn and passed, especially since Romano naturally pushed Spain's buttons without even trying.

Rolling over onto his side, Romano closed his eyes and hoped that tomorrow would be better.

_**Six: Brokenhearted by Karmin**_

__At least once a week, Spain received a call from Romano demanding him to get his ass out of some sticky situation. The call almost always came at the beginning of the week, either a Monday or a Tuesday. Sometimes on a Wednesday. Very rarely did it come on Thursday and Romano never called him on Friday or Saturday. On Sundays, Romano would show up at his house and demand that they have breakfast, some sort of pasta because if Romano couldn't have pasta then he didn't want anything at all.

It was Friday and Romano still hadn't called him. Naturally, and for good reason too, Spain was thoroughly worried. Monday came and went, and Spain wasn't concerned at all that Romano hadn't called him. He had been expecting a call on Tuesday, but when it came and went, he figured he'd definitely be getting one the following day. If Romano didn't call on Mondays or Tuesday, then Wednesdays were the next in line. But when Wednesday came and Spain still hadn't heard anything from Romano, he began to worry.

Thursday arrived and by nightfall, Spain was almost chewing off his nails. He'd glance at the phone like a lovesick school girl waiting for her boyfriend to call her. But it was Friday now, eight o'clock was fast approaching, and he still hadn't heard a word from Romano. It was all he could do to not pull his hair out.

Suddenly, the phone rang and Spain nearly had a heart attack at the very sound of it. He answered it on the first ring.

"Romano?" he asked.

"Of course it's me, you jerk face! Who else would it be? You can't get a girlfriend so it's not like you have a lover calling you!" came Romano's voice from the other line. "Anyway, listen, Spain, I need your help. Britain's got me locked up again and he refuses to serve pasta!"

"Oh, thank God. I'm so glad," Spain sighed in relief. Hearing from Romano, knowing he was alive and in one piece, allowed him to relax immensely.

"You're glad?! YOU'RE GLAD?!" Romano roared in outrage. Spain could just picture it now. "You stupid, nothing of a bastard! How dare you be glad?! Who do you think you are, huh?! I ought to come over there right now and kick your pussy ass!"

Ah, Spain thought as he listened to Ramona rant and rave, all was well.

_**Seven: 4 in the Morning by Gwen Stefani**_

__Romano knew that Spain was the only one for him. It wasn't because they were deeply, madly, in love or anything. There were some days when Romano could barely tolerate Spain, although, on the other hand, Romano knew that Spain could barely tolerate him period. But when it came down to it, there was only one reason why Romano knew that he couldn't find or want anyone other than Spain.

Despite everything that had transpired between them, Spain still put up with him, still tolerated him, and still came to his rescue time and time again. Everyone else wanted him for his money or wanted to rule him or whatever, but Spain was different. Even in the face of poverty, Spain still defended Romano and sheltered and protected him. He still did that now. Romano did his best to repay Spain for everything he had done, like 'accidently' leaving money behind after every visit or something like that.

And Romano would continue doing things like that, just like he'd continue relying on Spain for, well, everything he had to offer. Because, in a weird, twisted, sort of way, they worked out well together and there was no one else who could balance Romano out or toleration him the way that Spain does.

_**Eight: When Did Your Heart Go Missing by Rooney**_

__"You're a stupid, rat bastard with a Napoleon dick!" Romano yelled at him as he stomped out of the house. The sound of the door slamming shut and the glass window shattering out of it resounded throughout the house.

Spain winced and sat down on the couch, huffing a sigh of defeat as he leaned back and soaked in the sunlight. Romano was being even more of an asshole today than normal. He didn't get why and he didn't even want to understand why. After all, Romano was Romano; only he knew why he did and said the things he did and said. All he could do really was be there to calm him down. Of course, it seemed as though he couldn't even do that anymore. While being called an idiot more than twenty times in twenty minutes wouldn't normally unnerve him, the fact that Romano was doing it day in and day out was. But he supposed that every country went through that kind of phase.

Still, it would be pretty cool if Romano would be nice to him for a change of pace. He had a heart in there somewhere; Spain just wished he'd show it more often.

_**Nine: As the World Falls Down by David Bowie**_

__Was it normal to feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach after seeing someone flip shit over a gift you gave them? Chibi Romano asked himself. He was watching Spain flip out and rant about his 'awesome, new sword' that Romano had given him – and he didn't even give a shit that it had been plucked from the trash.

Honestly, Romano only gave him that piece of crap sword because he had been slightly jealous over Spain's reaction to France's clothing, which made him look like a gay frog. He wanted to show France, that lecherous hound, that he could give Spain a piece of garbage and he would still love it because Spain preferred Romano over pussy-ass France. And he had been right.

Watching Spain's eyes shine and light up had caused Romano to feel as light as a feather, like he had the ability to walk on air, although one would never know by looking at him. For once, he thoroughly enjoyed Spain's reaction to something he did. It brought him all sorts of pleasant feelings watching the excitement and happiness radiate so obviously off of the Spaniard, and all because of a piece of crap sword he got from the trash.

_**Ten: Teenage Dream by Katy Perry**_

__Despite all of the drama, despite all of the yelling, despite all of the stubborn bullshit, despite Romano being a great ass, Spain could honestly say that he was living a wonderful dream. Sure, Romano could sure have a stick up his ass and was a lazy jerk that'd rather be alone than have friends, but he could be a good guy too. Like, he would cook for Spain a lot, mostly pasta but hey, it was all delicious! And he would help him out with bills somewhat; Spain never asked and never told Romano about his financial difficulties, but there was always money left behind after one of his visits.

Spain appreciated all of it.

But mostly, when it was just the two of them, they could just be together and be each other and be comfortable. Romano would let Spain kiss his hand, his cheek, his forehead, his lips, and while he'd have a snarky comment or two, he never pulled away. He enjoyed every kiss he received. And he was a cuddle whore, too. One night, when they had fallen asleep on the couch watching some late night TV show, Spain woke up to Romano cuddling up to him, looking so young and innocent without that arrogant smirk on his face. It was endearing.

They hadn't even progressed to the bedroom yet. Romano still had his trust issues and Spain was patient; he knew better than to push at certain subjects when it came to Romano and sex was one of them. But Spain was still living the most amazing dream ever and ever sacrifice was worth it in the end.


End file.
